I must be too annoying 4 u.
More tranny stories later!
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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