I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
