He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
