Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
