I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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