I will die if light touches me.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize