areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
