when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize