i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
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im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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