so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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