Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
