Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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