Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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