I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
