I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
