Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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