it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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