I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
