It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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