sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
