i may or may not be watching the land before time
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
