I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
