Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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