i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize