Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
