he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
