When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
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