just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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