She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Randomize