they need to just BURY HIM!
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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