We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
