i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
