Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Randomize
