he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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