I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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