fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
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There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
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This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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