the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
