Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
