I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
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I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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