I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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