Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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