just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
No subtext here. People are naked.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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