There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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