Don't you send me to vm
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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