I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
home. puking in laundry basket.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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