can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
