Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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