dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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