Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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