i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
