batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
