You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
he laminated a picture of his dick.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
All I want is dick and wine.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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