I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
