had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I want a musical about memes.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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