that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
