Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I looked at my own cervix.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize