HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
