I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize