are you so shy because you have an std?
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
